i'm not sure what God is up to. really, i'm not. you would think that with the books i have lining this wall, and the degrees packed neatly away; that i'd be able to see it a bit clearer right now. but, i don't. and for the first time...in a long time...i'm ok with that.
so much is going on in life, and i'm thankful for all of it...
i'm thankful for an unexpected brother who, although each of our journey's have been wildly different, our hearts are beating with the same desire for 'thy kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.' i'm thankful for his family, the unexpected aunt, uncle, and cousins my children now have in their life.
i'm thankful for the challenge of living out this 'calling'; this mission in a way i could not have predicted. 30 hours a week being a tent-maker in a community i have fallen in love with. the joy that the dozens of popsicle sticks i pick up must have brought to the children who enjoyed them. the pain that must have brought on or come with the empty crack bags, beer bottles and condoms i pick up off the ground. these things move me into a deeper passion for each and every face i see each and every day. the stories of hurting marriages, hurting parents, hurting children, all broken, all seeking, in their own way the elusive state of wholeness and peace. i'm thankful, that for some reason, my Creator saw fit to put me in this place to be a reflection of his presence and love for each of them. oh how i hope i don't take my job for granted.
i'm thankful for a young man who decided to take a risk with a Project that has no track record and his own heart has been opened to a God who loves him. he's learning what it is to be a man
, to step out of his comfort zone and be a man who doesn't follow what is going on around him. he's learning that his hard work and dedication can and should and will go beyond the basketball court.
i'm thankful for two little boys who for some reason, each and
every day, beg me to play with them. for two little boys who find a deep satisfying joy in wrestling with their daddy. for two little boys who will touch absolutely EVERYTHING they are not supposed to touch, just to get me to stop focusing on other things and remind me of the need to focus on them.
i'm thankful for a little girl; who although she has not taken a breath of air yet, already has more clothes than anyone else in this family. who's name will forever remind me of the graciousness of my God. i'm thankful for a little girl who already owns her daddy.
i'm thankful for a woman who is begging me to come to bed because she doesn't like to go to sleep without me beside her. for this woman who puts her all into raising our children. for a woman who will not allow me to forget that God has called me to steward her and our children first. for a woman who's very smile can melt away the madness in my own head.
i'm thankful for a God who continues to move and break into this world; for a God that reveals the love had for me. for a God who's grace extends beyond an eternity in heaven; and breaks into the ordinariness of my life.
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