That Song

Eli: Dad, can you play that song?

Me: Going to have to be a bit more specific buddy.

Eli:  The dying for a thousand years song.

Me:  Yeah bud.

We love that song in our family.  I first heard the song, not on the soundtrack for the teenage sci-fi drama about those adorable vampires and werewolves...but as a part of a Welcome Home Adoption special.  I'm a fan of Christina Perri...yeah, i said it, so what; she has a great voice...and as I watched the special and the images of families formed through adoption, tears of joy rolled down my cheeks.  What joy, what words, what a story and picture it paints of the reality of so many families created through adoption.  Of the longing of the parents to give of themselves and the longing of the children to know they are beautiful and made perfectly!  It encapsulates so much of the emotion Mandy and I felt as we waited on that couch for the boys to make their way downstairs to meet these strangers; these people that their loving Foster Parents had been showing them pictures of and calling them 'Mom' and 'Dad'.  So when I played that song on repeat so much, the kids asked us why we loved it so much.

We could barely get through it as we explained and listened to the song again.  The longing described and fulfilled in song is something that I know is possessed by all of us, not just those touched by adoption.  And while we continue to teach our kids the reality of our Father and King being the true fulfillment of that longing; I'm grateful that my 5 year old recognizes, appreciates, and feels the depth of love that went into creating our family.  He truly loves this song, we'll listen to it and he'll sing it the rest of the day.  This lil man understands the power that can flow from music.

So as I made the kids breakfast, listening to some of my music...let me tell you how much i loved hearing Eli ask out of the blue to hear this song.

"It's about becoming a family, Dad.  It's about loving and adoption."

Yeah bud.

"Why does she say she is dying?"

It's a metaphor bud.  She is describing how badly she was waiting and how much love she had to share and how she believes that the one she loves is the one she was always meant to love and now that they are together they can love each other.

"Oh...


Dad, I like this song."

Me too bud.

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you're in

Luke.  that's the one.  i love Luke.  of all the gospels this is the one which, for whatever reason I've found myself going to more than the others.  i think it has a lot to do with the fact that Luke is written as an outsider for other outsiders to see they aren't outsiders but are included as citizens within this thing called the kingdom of God.
we had this Bible Study group in Kansas City while I was in seminary.  it was a great group, about 9 of us from different churches, denominations would get together, share a snack and study the word.  love those people, miss them too. (even if i never say it, i'm awful at keeping up with people...even my own mother, ask her about my first few months of college. sorry, tangent...)  We were going through pieces of Luke for a time and throughout the weeks we unpacked how one of the themes in the book is that the Gospel of Jesus, that Jesus is not for just a select group of people, but for all of creation.  what a great journey, we had different people in that group, people with a passion of foreign missions and urban missions.  we were all encouraged and confirmed with what we knew we already believed, that the Gospel is not for those like me or those in a specific group, back the Gospel, the kingdom of God is inclusive.  if you're breathing, if you've been created, if you've been born...you're in.
last week we sat in the backyard, listening to a dear friend share with our community about her experience in Africa, we all sat listening to her share stories of God speaking to everyone at that conference..and when she shared that the one thing we all should hear and think on over the next week was the inclusive nature of the kingdom, i of course jumped (not literally, that would have been funny) with excitement. YES, YES, it is...the gospel isn't mine to possess, it's not for Europeans, Republicans, Democrats, Suburban Middle Class Value holding people, poor people...the good news is for us all.  in our community filled with people from every tribe tongue and nation, that is a message we constantly need to hear.
as we came to a close and I began to challenge everyone to think of one practical way they could begin to practice inclusiveness as a discipline, i thought i kind of had it in the bag.  this will be easy for me.  as we all sat for a moment reflecting on what way that would be so we could share it for accountability, imagine my shock when God clearly nudged me to think about those i've often left outside of my own pursuit of my creator.  Dom, Eli, and Mia.
know hear me, we pray, we read Bible Stories, we teach them about how Jesus would have has treat our friends, our family...but I am constantly trying to 'get away' from my kids so i can 'get with' God.  i was looking forward to an easy week of responding to our communities' challenge and found myself entering territory that was utterly foreign to me.  include some of the young men from the neighborhood...got it.  adults who don't look, think, or act like me...not a problem, this is North Portland, you can't go a day without doing that.  My 5,4 and 7 month old.  *gulp*
it was a fruitful week.  every night when we put the kids to bed we sing them a song, usually it is the Barney closing song (yeah, i know), the ABCs, Mary Had a Little Lamb, or Jesus Loves Me.  I've always sung TO them, the idea of singing with them never crossed my mind.  so this week, I began to ask Eli to sing with me and made sure Jesus Loves Me was a part of every night's routine, it became an opportunity to worship in music with my lil man.
one night he asked me, "Dad, can we sing Jesus is Alive?"
me: "I don't know that one buddy, can you teach me?"
eli: "Sure, it goes like this: Jesus is Alive, YEAH.  Jesus is Alive, YEAH.  Jesus is Alive. YEAH YEAH YEAH.
me: i'd love to sing that with you buddy.
so there we laid, singing the song he made up as we went, and i found myself rejoicing in the reality of Jesus being Alive, of his kingdom including my 4 year old, and very thankful for the challenge to include them in my pursuit of him.
I asked Eli to sing the song again the next morning, it was a bit different than the night before, but never the less...for your opportunity to worship in song along with my 4 year old.  Love you Eli.  Thank you Jesus.

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How do you think they feel?

she ached, really.  to say she was hurt, i don't think that would encapsulate all that she was feeling, all that she was thinking.  her kids were being hurt, and by one they had come to love and welcome as their own.  in fact, it was clear that she saw him as one of her own.  this breakdown, this severing of relationships was personal, to the point where she was shouldering blame, believing somehow, someway, this was her fault.  if she had just done...or if she hadn't done, or maybe if this was this instead...

it is quite sad to see relationships, that were once vibrant and full of love and respect dissipate into vengefulness and hatred.  the disrespect that can follow broken relationships is so sad.  one of the things we hope to infuse into the lives of our kids, as well as the lives of the young men i get to spend time with, is an understanding that we all possess the imago Dei.  it seems this is a never-ending aspect of my blogging.  that we are made in the image of God...and we should love and treat one another as such.  we've started to adopt a parenting strategy that one of our friends shared she used with her son.  this soon to be sixth grader is kind, empathetic, respectful and caring.  he shot back at a bully who was picking on him and kids in his class and felt awful when the bully began to cry.  we refused to believe her when she told us he used to not be as observant of how his actions and behavior affected others.  she started the transformation by asking the questions, "And how do you think that makes _______ feel?"  and slowly, over time, we now have this incredible young man who seems to embody the word empathy.  we've started asking the boys and we are seeing how they are responding to the question and beginning to see the world as bigger than their 4 and 5 year old bubbles.

i wonder how much hurt, how much anger, how much malice would be avoided if, rather than clinging to protecting our own interests and rights; we chose to often ask ourselves, "How do I think 'so-and-so' would feel if I do/say _______?"  Scripture calls us to live that way, Jesus lived a life of kenosis on our behalf, for our good...should we not live the same? as you move throughout your day, when you enter into any interactions, ask yourselves that question...seek to live in a way that brings love and joy to those around you.

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so we headed out to Costco.  it was pouring here, the temperature had dropped and it felt like we were deep into our Portland fall. cold and rainy.  everyone was in a good mood, the boys sang almost the whole way there...well, Dom sang.  Eli had dropped his toy and i was able to reach back and grab it. Mandy asked Eli if I was his hero and Eli said yes.  Soon Dom said, 'He's my hero too!!'  Then he broke out into song, 'Heroes, heroes, heroes, they are brave.  Heroes, heroes, heroes, they are brave. Heroes, heroes, heroes, they are brave.  Heroes, heroes, heroes, they are brave.'  After about 5 minutes of that, Eli asked Dom if the song was over.  Dom's response...'Heroes, heroes, heroes, they are brave.  Heroes, heroes, heroes, they are brave....'

i love my kids. they are getting so big, becoming sponges too...Dom is constantly asking about the meaning of words and phrases.  its wonderful.

so, back to Costco.  i'm driving around the parking lot (not fun at 5:30 on a Friday night) and i'm lucky enough to find someone about to pull out from the second spot to the front.  with 2 toddlers and one infant...its nice to be able to get out of the rain and have less puddles to drag the boys away from.  so i stop, put my clicker on and wait for the person to pull out.

and thats when it happens, some 50 something dude stops watches the person pull out, sees me there, and zips his lil beat up station wagon right into the spot.  as the boys would say, this is when mean Daddy came out.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"  I pull up behind his car, stop mine...roll down Mandy's window (to her horror) and I wait.  the dude just sits in the car, probably terrified...i think; at least part of me hoped so.

Mandy looks at me and says, 'Set a good example right now.'  I don't budge.  'What are you going to say to him?' she asks.

"I'm going to tell him what a jerk he is!"  I declare.

"Haha...you're going to tewll him what a jewrk he is." Eli cackles.

i hang my head and pull off...still steaming a bit...but also in shame.

what a monumental task we have as parents.  the fact that these two are watching my every move is a bit scary.  what'd Uncle Ben say to Spiderman, 'With great power comes great responsibility'. yeah, not one of my finer moments as a dad.

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my better half

so, i want to take a moment and brag on my wife.  is that cool?  as if your answer would change my decision to do so...

i have never met a woman so passionate about her calling as a mother...not even my own mom, sorry...start by clicking on the Adoption Journey link at the top of the page and read the latest post, the latest reflections my wife had on being a mom of two boys, whose minds and hearts are still very fragile, and still very much having their understandings on who they are, and what this world around them is all about shaped and formed.  she really is amazing.  as i type this, i've been sick for the last few days and my wife has had to care not only for the two little boys, but this not so little man who acts like a boy when he's sick...

she is constantly reading blogs, books and quizzing others on how to parent the boys well...because of her deep passion, i've started listening to podcasts on parenting just so i can keep up with her...

she's great...on top of all that, she still loves this mess of a man.  this Sunday we celebrate a day made just for you and your passion...Happy Mother's Day, if there was ever a mother deserving of being celebrated, its you Sweets.

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