summer is coming

As the summer draws near I am anticipating a few things...
- a sprinkler soaked back yard. The boys have been asking since that one sunny day back in February.
- a wonderfully earned farmer's tan.
- lots more trash to pick up
- the smell of the grill permanently coating my back yard, and maybe my skin...
- camping; maybe

But of the things anticipated every summer, there is one that i wished would never come. Summer violence.

We've been talking about it since Spring Break. The anticipation of bored, out of school, outside youth...and by youth I mean ages 10-25...with nothing better to do that mess around and care deeply about things that don't really matter. Which inevitably leads to someone pushing someone, which turns into fists raised and sometimes someone reaches the level of needing to 'prove' something and out comes the heat (gun).
We've already heard of rallys and demonstrations being planned to stand for peace and stop the violence; we are probably going to be a part of one in New Columbia ourselves.
But here's the thing...and I'm thinking out loud here, which I'm not a huge fan of; I mean seriously, I have such a hard time knowing if I'm supposed to engage or just keep my mouth shut. Please feel free to engage...anyway, here's the thing....

I wonder how effective those events actually are? Hear me out....

1) They aren't enough.
They are a great rallying point for the community, a place we can gather together and say we don't want anymore young men dying. But if all we do is rally and yell for a few hours and the go back home to life as usual, what have we done? It's like speaking for justice on Facebook and Twitter, and if after you hit send, your life doesn't change, what have you really done? Getting together at the beginning of the summer of after someone is shot is just not enough...
2. They aren't there.
Who comes to these events? Gang Members? Doubtful, cops are usually there. Drug Dealers? See above. Of those in attendence, I'm willing to wager that 99% of those there are not directly involved in any kind of gang-related violence. So, who's minds are we changing? Anyone's? Or are we really just preaching to the choir? Again, we need encouraged to continue to stand for peace, we need those rallying moments, but if those in attendance are not committing violent acts...has the event actually decreased the likelihood of violence?

Alright, on to my proposal...what if 'peace', these specific expressions of 'peace' aren't actually the anti-thesis to the expressions of violence? what if its play? what if the thing that is the anti-thesis of violence is peace being expressed through play? and play that not only is safe for those who don't commit violence but actually include and invite those who are committing those acts of violence to lay down their guns and join in on the fun. this is how we see change, this is how things begin to become transofrmed...when we find ways to stand with, and invite them into relationships that disarm those things that divide or incite anger or hatred.
those are my thoughts, stay tuned for more on this, but until then i'd love some feedback, some engaging, whats your thoughts?

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hooded reflections...

death is awful.  i'm not a fan of it.  not sure who is really.  i've come closer to death in the last few years than i thought i ever would.  its no secret i'm not a fan of 17 year old young men getting shot and killed.  breaks my heart, everytime.  no matter their story, no matter their past, no matter the situation and context. how i wish we valued life the way our Creator does.

i've not said anything about Trayvon Martin to this point, because, well...I live in Portland, this happened in Florida.  The only 'information' i get is through the news and i can't trust it all...none of us can really, whether its FoxNews, CNN, MSNBC...there are angles.  Speaking of FoxNews, check out this post from a friend of mine over at Roused to Mediocrity, made me laugh.  thanks scott.  but being someone who spends time with some great young black men who are also at risk of being shot at, or honestly, pulling the trigger, i thought i'd go ahead and share the things i'm thinking about.

first...the fact that he is dead is tragedy enough...whether you believe the shooter was defending himself or that the shooter was overzealous and profiled Trayvon as a young black man in a hoodie; the death of a 17 year old who was carrying only skittles and an Arizona tea should be enough to bring a tear to your eye and recognize that there will be no justice, no matter what the outcome.  whether the shooter is charged, imprisoned, or left free...nothing will change this tragedy, there can be no justice.

second...these tweets hit home for me.
First, from Efrem Smith, @efremsmith:
Many young black men have been murdered by other young black men, but there was no rally for them.

Next from Sho Baraka, @amishobaraka:
Troy Davis', Trayvon Martin's, sex trafficking and Kony Movements. What are you doing off twitter to fight it "Before and after the fact?"

And from Propaganda, @prophiphop:
Lets Pray that God brings Justice and Racial reconciliation from this


i'm all for outrage, i'm all for a prophetic voice...we need those.  but may we not just be a voice, may we not wait for a tragedy to give cause for speaking, and may we live day in and day out in such a way that when these injustices come we may know we have already been about our Father's business of declaring the good news, of being the light in the darkness, of declaring that His Kingdom has come and is coming.

Hoodie been up, still up.  Now, lets make sure all our knees and hands are dirty.

_______________
check out Efrem Smith's blog reflections...he says things a bit better than i...

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momma didn't say anything about this

what a week.  momma never, ever, ever told me there would be days like this.  ever.  i'm not sure my momma even knew days like this existed.  multiple shootings in a few days.  2 guys i know arrested.  as i sat across from a mentor/counselor today, seeking his prayers, counsel and encouragement, while sharing my last few days, his jaw began to drop...i don't think his momma ever said anything about days like this.

the range of emotions these last few days has been training.  thank the Lord that we had 'happened' to schedule a sabbath for me today.  i've been off thinking, sleeping, reading, and praying about the things that have happened.  i've rejoiced over guys who weren't involved and mourned a bit about those who were involved.  i've tried to be a voice of encouragement to those in our community and tried to be honest with my own fears and concerns.

here's what i know though....

1. we aren't leaving.  sorry mom.  this is our community, we won't be scared away from it.  we won't worry about what will happen to us because this is not all there is.  i know there is a kingdom that is here and that is coming that shows me this way of living is passing and a kingdom of love reigns.  we're not leaving because Jesus is a beast and he's King...'nuff said.

2.  i'm still not ok with this.  i'm still not ok with young men shooting each other.  i'm still not ok with kids being left without positive male mentors, without fathers.  i talked with a guy just 2 weeks ago about his needing to be around for his daughter because she needed her dad.  his eyes filled with tears as he shared with me that he never knew his father.  then just last week he was arrested.  fatherlessness can become a nasty cycle.  we need to see some of these young men re-fathered.  and we know just  Who can do it.

here's what i need from you.  check out the B. Moore Project web-site.  Give, help us paint a new picture of manhood, help us transform our community.  second, watch this video...Odd Thomas is a beast, lives in Portland...and we need to spread this message, that God replaces and heals all that we go through.  whether we are young men without fathers or young girls with abusive fathers...God takes care of that.

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daughters of zion

So, as the B. Moore Project continues to gather steam, I'm constantly reflecting on manhood and what specific traits we want to see built into the lives of the young men who enter our realm of influence.  There are so many which come to my mind and heart, but there is one I've been reflecting on more and more.

Maybe it's because there is an absolutely precious 4 month old who has stolen my heart.

Maybe it's because I've seen relationships hit dangerous lows because of pornography.

Maybe it's because I've been near many a single mom left alone searching for encouragement and validation.

I desperately pray we teach these young men to respect, cherish and have a proper view of women.
Men and young men, the way we treat and talk to the women in our lives should always be infused with the truth that they are made in the Image of God, just as we are. The words 'chick' or 'b!tch' describes more of your lack of maturity than the type of women in our lives.  Our actions should always uplift, cherish and serve the women in our lives.

It says that God created them in His image, 'male AND female.'  We need to start acting like it.  We need to treat our women with respect and love.  They are not objects to be possessed but people who can sharpen and encourage us.  Imagine how our communities would look different if we(men) treated women different, if we didn't sexualize them, de-person-ize them.  Imagine if we instead cherished and uplifted, encouraged and applauded them.  I couldn't even do an image search on-line with the word 'woman' to add a picture to this post because of what would probably come up.

I pray my sons grow up and know how to treat a woman.  That might be my greatest failure as a Dad if they don't.

That's my rant, and I'm sticking to it...but, what's your thoughts?  No, really, I want to know...

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YML

Friday has quickly become one of my favorite days of the week.  Not because it is the start of the weekend, but due to the time I get to spend with the young men over at Roosevelt High School.  These cats crack me up, inspire me, and motivate me to continue to be more, so that I can in turn encourage them to be more in the midst of their daily challenges and struggles.

we've been working through different chapters in the 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader by John Maxwell.  we've covered a few qualities and each week as I prepare...i'm challenged myself.  reading through John's quick short chapters and reflecting on different things we can do with the young men or the things ways we can relate it to them and their situation...i find myself stopping and thinking.  wow, i could really use some of this advice.  i ask myself how can i apply it; to my parenting, my husbanding, my leading, my dreaming, pastoring and creating.  i love that when i spend time there, its never as an expert, but as one who is on the same journey.  i've just been on it a little longer.

love the Young Men Leaders at RHS.

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power of shared story

Mandy's been away this weekend. It's her yearly women's weekend away with her closest friends from college. Anytime she's with Krystal, Jolleen, Giordi, Sarah, and Stephanie; it is as if they've never left college. Their relationships are as strong as ever. Mandy always comes back and talks about the different things these women are doing in their lives, and the excitement is written all over her face.

Anytime I talk with friends from college or seminary we always seem to be able to pick right up where we left off. If we weren't a bit older, we'd probably do some of the same things we did in college that we couldn't get away with doing now...Chinese food at 2 am, different pranks, scavenger hunts throughout the city, wiffle ball at midnight. Even though our life dynamics have completely changed (children, different communities, different cities)...there is something about when we are together that immediately returns our relationships to the moments we had experienced together and we've never left...

Throughout this first summer of the B. Moore Project, we've worked hard to create the beginnings of what we've all experienced with those kinds of friends. That level of trust, comfortability...the shared stories. The power of shared stories, shared experiences is something that cannot be measured or evaluated. Even as we think of ways to evaluate what we do in BMP its hard to explain how trust has been built. In reality, that's something that is built/earned...not just through trust-building exercises, but through shared stories. We've spent the summer doing things together, movies, bowling, dinner (Seven River's BBQ being our favorite), camping, and just talking. What we have been focusing on in this Trust-Building Stage is the creation of shared stories. As we seek to mentor these young men and strengthen the relationships that will strengthen each other and thus strengthen our community...we need to create opportunities for shared story. These things bind us together, these are things we have experienced together and that can never change, it is now forever a part of our stories, not just as individuals, but as a group.

Even as we continue to encourage the young men to move into manhood, these moments can never cease. School is coming quickly, the life dynamics we are experiencing are going to change in expected and unexpected ways. We can't stop sharing meals (this has its own power), we cannot stop sharing laughter, sharing life. Those shared stories make it possible for us to pick back up where we left off, no matter whether it has been a week, a month, or a year.

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