No Days Off

"Leaders don't get the choice of when they get to turn Leadership on and off."

I've heard him say this about 10-15 times in the last two weeks.  This has been an interesting few months as we watch the league our local youth football programs participate in declare bankruptcy, and we sat with about 1400 kids looking at the coaches they counted on to solve the problem.  A bunch of us got together, led by this guy, and we formed a new league, put the pieces together and are getting ready for the first official games of the season tomorrow.  We are stoked.  But man have their been challenges.  Plenty of egos have been bruised in the process; and yet we are sticking together and agreeing to disagree.  Things we were counting on have fallen through in the last second; and yet holes have been plugged.  And quite frankly, it is because this guy has worked tirelessly and without relenting to make sure these 1200-1400 3rd-8th graders have a chance to play a game that will keep them occupied and Lord willing, will teach them countless lessons about what it means to be men and women.  The crazy thing in all this...he runs one of the programs, has a job with a non-profit that is leading throughout our city making a massive difference...and he has done all of this for free as a volunteer.  Now, we all have, and there have been other guys who have put forth plenty of extra effort...but the amount of time he has spent negotiating and the giant sized target he put on his own back when he stepped up to make sure this didn't fall through the cracks...

...i'm thankful.  I've told him over and over how much I appreciate his leadership and his drive...and thick skin.  Part of his paying job, is actually, to help mentor myself and lead FCA into a new mode of ministry within our city, so we are getting to rub elbows on multiple levels.  And while I'm not sure where he is getting his superhuman stamina...gotta be Jesus...i'm so thankful I get to walk alongside and learn from this dude.  This is a lesson that I know I need to learn.  There are many days I get home, I see my phone ringing and the thought of picking it up to engage in what has the potential to be a trying conversation is exhausting...and if I'm honest; sometimes i just let it ring.

i think this is an important lesson and the quote itself flies in the face of what so many describe as a need for 'boundaries'.  You find your getaways, absolutely, you take time to Sabbath, no doubt...but if you aren't in the midst of that, does the Kingdom really allow for boundaries?  Do we as leaders really get to say, nope, not now?  Do we get to pick and choose what 'crisis/situation' we are willing to tackle and which ones we just let fall?  Does the Kingdom life allow us to say, 'not my problem'?  I know, this is over simplifying the situation into what might not be a black and white issue...but still; I'm not convinced the Kingdom allows for 'boundaries' in this way.  What say you?

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Morning Mumblings...

so i've been reading Daniel lately.  Partly because of a message shared at a youth conference last month...ok, really, that's the only reason I got back into Daniel.  Didn't wake up one morning and just say, hey, let's read Daniel; nothing like some 4 headed-beast filled visions and apocalyptic literature to start my day...

...I honestly have struggled to completely comprehend Daniel at times...but for whatever reason, reading it along with a new commentary I have, some of the imagery and tension in the book has begun to take greater root within me.  still have more to read in the book, but i'm challenged by the over-arching tension of allegiances within the book.  Daniel, Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego being called by Babylon and Persia to break off in any given way their allegiance to the living God and into whatever way of being and worship the Babylonians and Persians are acting.  Things as small as how they eat, to as large as bowing before another. 

how many ways to we allow our allegiances to go to something other than God, the living God?  I'm talking something as simple as the way we choose to spend our money to the complicated things; like what we actually pledge allegiance to?  what is it that we completely orient our lives around?

that's the thing about these guys...this wasn't some crisis moment where they had to make a quick decision and will they be able to stand underneath the pressure.  this is just what they do...its what they have been doing, their lives are completely oriented around serving YHWH and there was going to be nothing that distracted them from it.  they were going to allow themselves to be lost in who God was. 

do i?

i mean, really, do i?

does the way I eat reflect my understanding of the physical body God has given me?

does the way I parent reflect the way Christ has parented me?

does the way I compete reflect the way Christ has called me to treat the other?

do the things i make my priorities reflect the priorities of the Creator?

this isn't some law deal where I'm going to go through some checklist so I can feel better about myself for a moment...because it is just for a moment, maybe i cross them off today, but a time is coming when i won't be able to....but have i really continued to 'work out my salvation with fear and trembling' to where God is at work within me completely transforming the entirety of my being, not just my actions, but my worldview, philosophies, way of being and thinking?

i don't know...there is much to be done within me, there is much to be transformed within me, there is much that the Holy Spirit shines itself on and calls me to surrender it, to die to self...I just pray that is a continual action.

the beauty of these stories in Daniel, especially the Sunday School type ones, it's the lesson I didn't remember understanding as a kid.  yeah, God saved them from a furnace and a bunch of lions and that is absolutely wicked awesome!  but the reality of the fact that God was with them.  That God didn't prevent them from being chucked into the bar-b-que of a lifetime, but that in the midst of it, God showed up; God was with them.  so thankful that the good news, that Jesus is Immanuel continues and always rings true.  that no matter how life is shaking out, God will be with us.

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you're in

Luke.  that's the one.  i love Luke.  of all the gospels this is the one which, for whatever reason I've found myself going to more than the others.  i think it has a lot to do with the fact that Luke is written as an outsider for other outsiders to see they aren't outsiders but are included as citizens within this thing called the kingdom of God.
we had this Bible Study group in Kansas City while I was in seminary.  it was a great group, about 9 of us from different churches, denominations would get together, share a snack and study the word.  love those people, miss them too. (even if i never say it, i'm awful at keeping up with people...even my own mother, ask her about my first few months of college. sorry, tangent...)  We were going through pieces of Luke for a time and throughout the weeks we unpacked how one of the themes in the book is that the Gospel of Jesus, that Jesus is not for just a select group of people, but for all of creation.  what a great journey, we had different people in that group, people with a passion of foreign missions and urban missions.  we were all encouraged and confirmed with what we knew we already believed, that the Gospel is not for those like me or those in a specific group, back the Gospel, the kingdom of God is inclusive.  if you're breathing, if you've been created, if you've been born...you're in.
last week we sat in the backyard, listening to a dear friend share with our community about her experience in Africa, we all sat listening to her share stories of God speaking to everyone at that conference..and when she shared that the one thing we all should hear and think on over the next week was the inclusive nature of the kingdom, i of course jumped (not literally, that would have been funny) with excitement. YES, YES, it is...the gospel isn't mine to possess, it's not for Europeans, Republicans, Democrats, Suburban Middle Class Value holding people, poor people...the good news is for us all.  in our community filled with people from every tribe tongue and nation, that is a message we constantly need to hear.
as we came to a close and I began to challenge everyone to think of one practical way they could begin to practice inclusiveness as a discipline, i thought i kind of had it in the bag.  this will be easy for me.  as we all sat for a moment reflecting on what way that would be so we could share it for accountability, imagine my shock when God clearly nudged me to think about those i've often left outside of my own pursuit of my creator.  Dom, Eli, and Mia.
know hear me, we pray, we read Bible Stories, we teach them about how Jesus would have has treat our friends, our family...but I am constantly trying to 'get away' from my kids so i can 'get with' God.  i was looking forward to an easy week of responding to our communities' challenge and found myself entering territory that was utterly foreign to me.  include some of the young men from the neighborhood...got it.  adults who don't look, think, or act like me...not a problem, this is North Portland, you can't go a day without doing that.  My 5,4 and 7 month old.  *gulp*
it was a fruitful week.  every night when we put the kids to bed we sing them a song, usually it is the Barney closing song (yeah, i know), the ABCs, Mary Had a Little Lamb, or Jesus Loves Me.  I've always sung TO them, the idea of singing with them never crossed my mind.  so this week, I began to ask Eli to sing with me and made sure Jesus Loves Me was a part of every night's routine, it became an opportunity to worship in music with my lil man.
one night he asked me, "Dad, can we sing Jesus is Alive?"
me: "I don't know that one buddy, can you teach me?"
eli: "Sure, it goes like this: Jesus is Alive, YEAH.  Jesus is Alive, YEAH.  Jesus is Alive. YEAH YEAH YEAH.
me: i'd love to sing that with you buddy.
so there we laid, singing the song he made up as we went, and i found myself rejoicing in the reality of Jesus being Alive, of his kingdom including my 4 year old, and very thankful for the challenge to include them in my pursuit of him.
I asked Eli to sing the song again the next morning, it was a bit different than the night before, but never the less...for your opportunity to worship in song along with my 4 year old.  Love you Eli.  Thank you Jesus.

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Passion Week

I hope as I celebrate this Passion week, this Good Friday, and this Easter...I recognize its not about what I have received (there is much to be thankful about that), but it has all the more to do with who this God,this Jesus, this King is, and what kind of kingdom we've been given the joy of participating in. 

This week, I seek to to get lost within the nature of this King and kingdom.  And hopefully, on the other side of this week, it will have taken over all the more of me.

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momma didn't say anything about this

what a week.  momma never, ever, ever told me there would be days like this.  ever.  i'm not sure my momma even knew days like this existed.  multiple shootings in a few days.  2 guys i know arrested.  as i sat across from a mentor/counselor today, seeking his prayers, counsel and encouragement, while sharing my last few days, his jaw began to drop...i don't think his momma ever said anything about days like this.

the range of emotions these last few days has been training.  thank the Lord that we had 'happened' to schedule a sabbath for me today.  i've been off thinking, sleeping, reading, and praying about the things that have happened.  i've rejoiced over guys who weren't involved and mourned a bit about those who were involved.  i've tried to be a voice of encouragement to those in our community and tried to be honest with my own fears and concerns.

here's what i know though....

1. we aren't leaving.  sorry mom.  this is our community, we won't be scared away from it.  we won't worry about what will happen to us because this is not all there is.  i know there is a kingdom that is here and that is coming that shows me this way of living is passing and a kingdom of love reigns.  we're not leaving because Jesus is a beast and he's King...'nuff said.

2.  i'm still not ok with this.  i'm still not ok with young men shooting each other.  i'm still not ok with kids being left without positive male mentors, without fathers.  i talked with a guy just 2 weeks ago about his needing to be around for his daughter because she needed her dad.  his eyes filled with tears as he shared with me that he never knew his father.  then just last week he was arrested.  fatherlessness can become a nasty cycle.  we need to see some of these young men re-fathered.  and we know just  Who can do it.

here's what i need from you.  check out the B. Moore Project web-site.  Give, help us paint a new picture of manhood, help us transform our community.  second, watch this video...Odd Thomas is a beast, lives in Portland...and we need to spread this message, that God replaces and heals all that we go through.  whether we are young men without fathers or young girls with abusive fathers...God takes care of that.

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So, I said I was going to post on this book by Stanley...so I'm finally going to type what I wrote in my journal about chapter 1.

Ch1: 'Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.'

Look, Stanley's a beast. I think I've read this chapter 6 times now and I'm still not fully sure I get it. and that might be the point.  So, here's what I'm thinking now:

- Our tendency to think of life as revolving around us has led to some amazingly awful things and gross mis-understandings.

- the instinct of self-preservation...physically and emotionally can be very powerful.

A few quotes from the book that stuck out to me:

- "...as soon as we begin to think this is all about us, about our need for forgiveness, bathos drapes the cross, hiding from us the reality that here we first and foremost see God." (pg. 28)

- "Ironically, by trying to understand what it means for us to need forgiveness, to often our attention becomes focused on something called the 'human condition' rather than the cross and the God who hangs there." (pg.28)

- "We are made members of a kingdom governed by a politics of forgiveness and redemption." (pg.31)

Some final thoughts and questions...feel free to answer...

- Have we made forgiveness so trite that we fail to realize the enormity of these words?

- To follow Jesus...to declare Him King, means my life isn't for me or even about me...but about continually declaring His kingdom and the invitation to be a part of it.

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now what

it's the 26th...Advent has reached it's conclusion...the season of expectation has come and ended...now what?  john the baptist says bear fruit in keeping with repentance. i enjoy john...dude's fiery, he's got no problem getting in your face...me, i'll butter ya up for a solid 20 before i work up the courage to confront :).  its that straight-forward message that i think we'd all be wise to listen to.  it cracks me up how he was called to Prepare the Way for the Lord, to bring every mountain and hill low, and make the rough roads smooth... 'to make ready a people prepared for the Lord'...as if humanity was any kind of ready for what the Christ-child was going to be like...

...and yet some of Christ's disciples, were John's first...when people began to go to Christ, John said, 'he must become greater, i must become less.'  maybe, just maybe, that's what now...we bear fruit in keeping with repentance, not that we might make our place secure (as if we could), but because we are called to bear witness to the already-not yet kingdom so that when it comes there have been made ready a people prepared for the Lord...

bear some fruit

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