Perfect Moment

It was one of those moment's that I'll never forget.  There are those times that God allows us to see love shared in a relationship that usually results in some kind of viral video that ends up on CNN or Facebook causing us to stop what we should be doing and watch.  We smile, we feel warm and fuzzy and are thankful that someone caught it on video.  And each of us secretly hope that some day we will get to share in a moment like that...

The other night we had our end of year youth football banquet.  I love it, I get to share of the growth in our program, i get to applaud kids who deserve it and thank those who gave so much.  I shared a story of a 3rd grader who carried his sister's bookbag around school when she had a hurt arm because, "That's what Roosevelt football players do!"  We hand out trophies and then we we hand out what we call a Rider Award.  The rider award goes to one player from each team and is chosen by their coaches to determine who they think embodies our three family values (1. Respect your coach 2. Value your teammates 3. Honor your team) and who's attitude was consistently positive.  

On this night two of our Rider Award winners missed the banquet.  One for family reasons and one because, well, they didn't know it was the banquet.  It broke my heart.  I received a voicemail from this player's father expressing his frustration (read anger) that they had missed the banquet...again.  They missed last year too...same reason.  Quite frankly, I understood completely, and was very disappointed they weren't there to celebrate with us.

So I grabbed the player's award and pictures (the dad had ordered a sweet plaque) and I went over to their house to apologize and give them their things.

We chatted for a bit, I apologized that they didn't know and then while I was there, for what ever reason, as I began to hand the player the Rider Award, I was moved to stand and share exactly what their coach had said, as if the player was receiving it in a legit ceremony.  And as I shared, holding the medal in front of me, I heard a sniff.  I kept talking and then placed the award around the players neck and said, 'You earned it.'

As I sat down I looked over at the player's father whose head was in his hands, the single sniff gave way to others as he cried tears of joy.  This player moved closer to their dad and placed their hand on his lap, he reached out and grasped it.  Then through his tears said, 

"I'm just so proud.  I'm just so proud."  The player smiled, a big smile to hear those words come from their dad.  

I sat there, silent.  Enjoying the moment the two of them were able to share together, in front of no one but me and their lil yipper dog.  God gave me an incredible opportunity to witness an awesome love.

I've been in so many talks with people lately about fatherlessness...I've been thinking about the call many coaches could accept to "re-father" some of their players...I've been thinking about my boys who's bio-dad checked out.  And as I spent the afternoon with my daughter at football practice, basketball practice and dance practice...i became so thankful for the presence of this particular dad, and the wonderful relationship he has with his Rider.

It won't be a viral video, but it is a moment that will be forever burned into my mind; challenging me to have that same depth of love for my kids and any other kids who cross my path.  

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Tired of it

I often think of this sound bite I heard about 2 years ago from David Wilkerson....take a listen, seriously...

I don't agree with David on everything, which is fine, neither of us knows it all...but anguish...having an emotion that leads towards movement, that causes us to act through the power of the Spirit, I always come back to this.  I feel like I need more of this, but I often fill every ounce of the day with noise so that I don't have time to really get to that place.  I love reading Nehemiah and his anguish fueled action is inspiring and challenging.  So I think this morning, I'll make a list, I'll be quiet and make a list of things I'm tired of...

1. I'm tired of violence.  Period.
2. Especially Gang Violence.
3. Stupid Violence.  (Isn't it all?)
4. Domestic Violence.   (Am I making that clear?)
5. I'm tired of young girls and women being treated like objects and less than others.
6. I'm tired of our desire to remain disconnected/seperate/isolated for 'self-preservation'. Read: racism, classism, denominationalism, sexism, any other -ism that causes us to stay seperate.
7. Being unhealthy.
8. An L for the Steelers. (Can't all be serious, can they?)
9. A lack of hope.
10. Selfishness.
11. Illusions of satisfaction that create more discontent.

I'm sure there are more...but that's a good start.  So tell me, what are yours...

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How do you think they feel?

she ached, really.  to say she was hurt, i don't think that would encapsulate all that she was feeling, all that she was thinking.  her kids were being hurt, and by one they had come to love and welcome as their own.  in fact, it was clear that she saw him as one of her own.  this breakdown, this severing of relationships was personal, to the point where she was shouldering blame, believing somehow, someway, this was her fault.  if she had just done...or if she hadn't done, or maybe if this was this instead...

it is quite sad to see relationships, that were once vibrant and full of love and respect dissipate into vengefulness and hatred.  the disrespect that can follow broken relationships is so sad.  one of the things we hope to infuse into the lives of our kids, as well as the lives of the young men i get to spend time with, is an understanding that we all possess the imago Dei.  it seems this is a never-ending aspect of my blogging.  that we are made in the image of God...and we should love and treat one another as such.  we've started to adopt a parenting strategy that one of our friends shared she used with her son.  this soon to be sixth grader is kind, empathetic, respectful and caring.  he shot back at a bully who was picking on him and kids in his class and felt awful when the bully began to cry.  we refused to believe her when she told us he used to not be as observant of how his actions and behavior affected others.  she started the transformation by asking the questions, "And how do you think that makes _______ feel?"  and slowly, over time, we now have this incredible young man who seems to embody the word empathy.  we've started asking the boys and we are seeing how they are responding to the question and beginning to see the world as bigger than their 4 and 5 year old bubbles.

i wonder how much hurt, how much anger, how much malice would be avoided if, rather than clinging to protecting our own interests and rights; we chose to often ask ourselves, "How do I think 'so-and-so' would feel if I do/say _______?"  Scripture calls us to live that way, Jesus lived a life of kenosis on our behalf, for our good...should we not live the same? as you move throughout your day, when you enter into any interactions, ask yourselves that question...seek to live in a way that brings love and joy to those around you.

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YML

Friday has quickly become one of my favorite days of the week.  Not because it is the start of the weekend, but due to the time I get to spend with the young men over at Roosevelt High School.  These cats crack me up, inspire me, and motivate me to continue to be more, so that I can in turn encourage them to be more in the midst of their daily challenges and struggles.

we've been working through different chapters in the 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader by John Maxwell.  we've covered a few qualities and each week as I prepare...i'm challenged myself.  reading through John's quick short chapters and reflecting on different things we can do with the young men or the things ways we can relate it to them and their situation...i find myself stopping and thinking.  wow, i could really use some of this advice.  i ask myself how can i apply it; to my parenting, my husbanding, my leading, my dreaming, pastoring and creating.  i love that when i spend time there, its never as an expert, but as one who is on the same journey.  i've just been on it a little longer.

love the Young Men Leaders at RHS.

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A better pacifist....

Just read an article, a speech really, given as a commencement address at Goshen College in 1992. I'm challenged by the speaker/author's description of pacifism in the speech. He, rightly I think, removes pacifism from being pigeon-holed to a discussion on physical violence/war and makes it broader. His description encompasses that, but includes a lifestyle, an ethic built around reconciliation and forgiveness. This too, is what it means to be a pacifist...how we relate to others on a practical, daily level.

- Do we do violence to someone with how we describe them to others?
- Do we do violence to someone when we hold grudges or withhold forgiveness out of anger?
- Do we do violence to someone with how we treat them?

While this might seem common sense to some, I find myself examining my life and finding examples of great violence on how I've acted and behaved. A lifestyle of reconciliation has not matched what I have inked on my back.

Ther great challenge of the speech is that it not only spurs on reflection...but almost necessitates some kind of action, confession. This is where the perverbial rubber meets the road. Its easy to be a pacifist when my description includes only a refusal to kill/maim another...i dont have many opportunities to even do that. Its a different situation all together when it involves the way in which I live my discipleship out within the diversity of relationships I have been placed in.

I've got some great brothers and sisters who are probably better, fuller pacifists than I. I would love to hear your reflections.

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