That Song

Eli: Dad, can you play that song?

Me: Going to have to be a bit more specific buddy.

Eli:  The dying for a thousand years song.

Me:  Yeah bud.

We love that song in our family.  I first heard the song, not on the soundtrack for the teenage sci-fi drama about those adorable vampires and werewolves...but as a part of a Welcome Home Adoption special.  I'm a fan of Christina Perri...yeah, i said it, so what; she has a great voice...and as I watched the special and the images of families formed through adoption, tears of joy rolled down my cheeks.  What joy, what words, what a story and picture it paints of the reality of so many families created through adoption.  Of the longing of the parents to give of themselves and the longing of the children to know they are beautiful and made perfectly!  It encapsulates so much of the emotion Mandy and I felt as we waited on that couch for the boys to make their way downstairs to meet these strangers; these people that their loving Foster Parents had been showing them pictures of and calling them 'Mom' and 'Dad'.  So when I played that song on repeat so much, the kids asked us why we loved it so much.

We could barely get through it as we explained and listened to the song again.  The longing described and fulfilled in song is something that I know is possessed by all of us, not just those touched by adoption.  And while we continue to teach our kids the reality of our Father and King being the true fulfillment of that longing; I'm grateful that my 5 year old recognizes, appreciates, and feels the depth of love that went into creating our family.  He truly loves this song, we'll listen to it and he'll sing it the rest of the day.  This lil man understands the power that can flow from music.

So as I made the kids breakfast, listening to some of my music...let me tell you how much i loved hearing Eli ask out of the blue to hear this song.

"It's about becoming a family, Dad.  It's about loving and adoption."

Yeah bud.

"Why does she say she is dying?"

It's a metaphor bud.  She is describing how badly she was waiting and how much love she had to share and how she believes that the one she loves is the one she was always meant to love and now that they are together they can love each other.

"Oh...


Dad, I like this song."

Me too bud.

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i'm that guy

as i was scrolling through my facebook news feed...because you know, thats where you find real news...

...i came across a post by Eric Mason in which he shared an article about the state of pastors in our country. eric shared it and then said, 'pastors, don't be a statistic' or something like that. the statistics were staggering. statistics that included pastors who engaged in extra-marital activity, pastors who didnt pray, pastors who only read scripture when they are prepping for sermons/lessons. as the percentages went up and up, i found myself shaking my head at how our pastors end up in this mess...

...and then i shook my head at my own conviction. a song that has consistently challenged me speaks directly to a tendency of mine to spend more time serving God than knowing God (shane and shane - received). it hurts to know that those statistics hit so close to home and burned deep into my heart. for four years, especially for the last one, i've been seeking to know exactly what and how God would have me serve him, what and how God would have me proclaim his name; and now any attempt to pray, to pray in such a way that i just draw near to God, for no other reason than to be near my Creator...results in my asking for the what and the how. (not those are bad prayers). but if you take away those things, if i was stripped of them today, i would definitely be at a loss because my identity has become so wrapped up in them, and not in my creator.

so, here is where i seek a bit of accountability...yeah, i know, internet accountability pleas are dis-ingenuous at best because of the lack of skin on factor...but still, most of you who read this have my phone number. so, here is what i'm asking; call me, text me something to remind me to put my pursuit of Jesus and His kingdom ahead of my being used for Jesus and His kingdom. and not just today, do it for a while, do it forever...be that part of the church that encourages this pastor to pursue Jesus, and nothing more.

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the boys

so its been a few weeks, so i thought i'd share a bit about life and what i'm thinking about...

first, these boys are ridiculous...dom has started asking the 'why' question, although not always at times that make sense...'dom, would you like some fish crackers?' 'why?'.  he also continues to find ways to tell me he doesn't want me to leave for work....i'm so glad he wants me around; makes me assume I'm doing something right...

eli richard is hilarious!!  he comes up with new looks all the time, doing anything to make us laugh...he also copies us as the craziest times.  whenever mandy or i get frustrated and grunt...he grunts, even if we are frustrated with him; talk about disarming...if we say something in a funny voice, he'll say that same thing in an attempt to copy the voice...he's even begun to find ways to copy dom...which aggravates dom sometimes.  and they both like to copy Swiper the fox...'ah, man'  eli richard has also started this thing with me before bed.  we read books and as we lay on the couch before we head in, he says, 'daddy, kiss?'.  he gives me a kiss then backs up and kisses me on the nose.  ahh...i love these two...

God is continuing to prune me.  it hurts.  not a day goes by where i am not reminded of my need for the cross, for Christ.  i'm thankful for it.  i dont ever want to portray and have the idea that i'm 'farther forward' on this journey of discipleship...and i don't ever want to think that my position has anything to do with my own strength and ability.  i found myself singing And Can It Be at work this week...my dad's fav...and i still can not sing 'my chains fell off, my heart was free' without being overcome with a deep sense of gratitude and desire to give back this gift i've been given.  which inevitably leads to a challenge to be on mission more.  we've been in the second half of 2 Cor 5 as a community and i cannot tell you how much i have been challenged by Paul's ministry of reconciliation, what that means for his relationship with the Corinthians and what that means for myself and our community within the community we have been placed...

...that's about it...3 weeks and one day til the greatest day of the year...

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