consuming fire

so i've been reading in Jeremiah, and as usual, you get stuck hearing about my random semi-connected thoughts to what i've read.  the part in ch 20:

'But if I say, "I will not remember Him or speak anymore in His name," 

Then in my heart it becomes like a burning fire shut up in my bones; 

and I am weary of holding it in, and i cannot endure it"

that passage always reminds me of a Corey Red and Precise song The Passion and the hook, 'its like fire shut up in my bones, ev'rytime i spit fire in the microphone, the devil is a liar and we make it known, Jesus Christ the Messiah forever on the throne".  (Gerson, I still pump da Matrix Joint and think about the blown-out speakers in our dorm for the rest of the year)

And i wonder....is it?

I mean, is it, is it like fire shut up in my bones?  sure there are days when i'm begggging someone to talk to me so i can tell them some new revelation and experience of Christ that i've been blessed with.  and there's other times that, well, there's other times that i'm just not.

i just finished reading this book, Becoming the Answer to our Prayers, and the authors talk about being sure your spiritual formation and your "social action" ( i dislike the term because of how it is often misinterpreted, i prefer living out your relationship with Christ), about having them not be separate or activities that can stand alone.  they reference this conversation between these two monks concerning intimacy with the Creator and one of the monks says, "if you want, you can become all fire".  i wonder, is this what Jeremiah spoke of?  this deep, consuming intimacy that is not based on just because God did this for me...but rather is so full of love and intimacy with Christ, that we become 'fire' we become the words, our knowledge of God is not based on things we know, but rather on the One we know?

is any of this making sense?  i hope so.  because the bottom line for me is, i don't want to know about God, i don't want to read books about God, i don't want to rely on what others have experienced about God, i want to know God.  and i want to know God in such a way that i become 'all fire' that I am consumed by the Consuming Fire, that i couldn't eat, sleep, breathe, play, work, rest without the deep knowledge of the presence of Christ.

ah, had to catch my breath there, went all 'preacher' on myself.  this week we look are looking at Matt 25.1-13...do you know God, does He know you?