pause

i did not like preparing for this weeks message. in the midst of dealing with a thief coming to our house, insurance agents, trying to find if there can be a replacement, i've been seeking to get some kind of message together on what it means to love God.

i thought about Jesus saying if you love me then obey my commands, i thought about 1 John saying if you love God, you love your brother...but God brought me to 2 passages. Abraham's offering of Isaac and Jesus speaking with Peter after the resurrection. rather than boring you with the details and clever illustrations I attempted to come up with...bottom line came to this...

to love God is to allow God to reign over every aspect our lives...including our very selves. Peter was in self-preservation mode when he denied, he needed to be shown that loving Jesus means puttin Christ's sheep first and allowing Christ to lead him. Abraham needed to not trust in Isaac but trust in YHWH who gave Isaac.

here's the point i came to...i don't trust Christ enough. not with my time, not with me...i fear what others will say, think or how they will treat me, i fear not getting things done, i fear not getting 'downtime' (is there even supposed to be downtime?) if I truly desire to love God, be loved by God and make the love of God known...then i need to surrender myself, my things...my will...

i've never read Purity of the Heart is to Will One Thing by Sören Kierkegaard...but it might be time, although i may have a good idea what it's going to say...

...so, there, that's our morning at koinoniaPDX, that's my confession, and my prayer is that I can free myself to trust and love my God completely...