this is the hardest. no, not the down in the dumps, world is crashing around me feeling. that emotion actually keep me moving and reminds me i'm living. its that feeling of silence all around, that feeling of, i know You're there but i can't feel you or hear you. i sometimes think it's some cosmic game of hard-to-get. how long will i wait? how hard will I seek? or maybe, just maybe, how long until i just sit?
maybe the silence serves no other purpose than to teach me to breathe in...breathe out...breathe in...breathe out. and that is in those breaths that a touch of the divine reminds me of the Breath that gives me life. maybe the silence is a reminder emotion is a trickster, and to live with a quiet heart and mind is a gift and a blessing. maybe the silence is a reminder that God's presence and moving has nothing to do with how hard i work or how happy i am or how hurt i am. God's presence is because God is God.
the silence teaches me that.